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July 22, 2004
Take Heed to Warnings
My cold is breaking. I've managed to infect 3 people with my germs, but I'm starting to feel so much better. My brother drank my orange juice when I specifically warned him not to. Now he's sick. My little cousin insisted on hanging out with me the other day. Now she's sick. My cousin drank my water that I left in the fridge. Now she's sick too. They can't say that I didn't warn them of my sickness. See this is what I mean when I be saying that when people give you warnings...it's for your own good.
Speaking of warnings. My aunt had a big dinner gathering the other day. She allowed one lady to make a few cakes. This lady is old and she just doesn't give a crap about the things she says or does. Anyway...this lady is notorious for digging in her nose & playing with her boogers. I warned my aunt not to let this lady make the cakes. My aunt didn't take head to my warnings. The lady made 2 cakes. While the lady was in the kitchen, icing one of the cakes, my aunt walked into the kitchen. She saw the lady lick the knife, stick the knife back into the icing & continue to spread it over the cake.
My aunt didn't say anything to her. She said that the lady just continued on icing as if nothing had ever happened. Then the lady dug up her nose & wiped a booger on her apron. My aunt said that she was grossed out. The lady told my aunt that she was done with the cakes. My aunt took the cakes and sat them aside far away from the other food. She told me to make sure that nobody touched the cake. I begged her to let me throw them away, but my aunt didn't want to hurt the lady's feelings. I was like "Screw her feelings! That's nasty."
So anyway, everyone has eaten. Most of us got a piece of the cake THAT MY COUSIN MADE. Her cake was gone quickly because nobody else was trying to eat the old lady's cake. My cousin Brian was complaining that he didn't get any cake. The old lady said, "Where are my cakes? Give Brian some cake." Brian didn't know this lady, so he didn't know that she's notorious for booger pickin & other nasty indecencies. Brian agreed to eat her cake. We warned him. My cousin Andy said, "Brian, don't eat that cake. I'm telling you because I love you big bro." He didn't listen. I said, "Brian if you what was up, then you wouldn't eat that cake." He told me to him what was up, but when I was trying to tell him, the old lady walked him. I said, "Brian you've already had enough to eat. You don't need that cake." The lady told me that I shouldn't tell him what he needs. Brian said, "I'm a grown man. I'll eat whatever I want to eat." I didn't say anything else. He ate two pieces of the cake and was about to eat a third when Andy said, "You know she was diggin in her nose & she licked the knife a few times while making the cake that you just cant get enough of."
He gets upset. He didn't believe her, so he asked me. I confirmed what Andy told him. He then asked my aunt & the look on her face said it all. We all started laughing. He was upset with us. He said, "That's messed up. You could've told me!" We just laughed even harder. The dummy.
Lisa said that Thursday's are "Post A Conversation" day, so I decided to post a conversation between myself and my friend Eric...
bigblackfist (11:35:42 AM): A homeless dude called me a punk b**** this morning.
U S S Clueless (11:36:00 AM): LOL!! Why? What did you do to him?
bigblackfist (11:36:32 AM): Nothing. He asked me for $1. I told him that I didn't have change.
U S S Clueless (11:36:58 AM): And that provoked him to say what was said?
bigblackfist (11:38:42 AM): I told him to give me a minute to get some change. He told my black @$$ to give him the whole 20. I said hell no.
U S S Clueless (11:39:07 AM): No he didn't ask for the whole 20?
bigblackfist (11:42:11 AM): Yea he did. First he called me a cheap nigga and told me that I need to learn some compassion.
U S S Clueless (11:43:23 AM): I'm mad he was schoolin you about compassion. That's funny.
bigblackfist (11:44:16 AM): That aint funny man. I told him that I am compassionate and that my compassionate negro @$$ was about to give him a dollar until he started runnin his mouth.
U S S Clueless (11:45:19 AM): Right. That was a bit ungrateful of him.
bigblackfist (11:46:09 AM): Then this fool bucked at me. He threw his hands up like "What Nigga!"
U S S Clueless (11:48:08 AM): LOL. Stop lying!
bigblackfist (11:49:02 AM): I'm swear yo! I walked away. I wasn't trying to get arrested for whoopin some homeless dude's @$$.
U S S Clueless (11:54:40 AM): I know that's right. I'm not trying to bail you out Eric.
bigblackfist (11:57:25 AM): As I was walking away he said "You better run you punk b****". I just kept walking.
U S S Clueless (11:57:47 AM): He got gangsta with you. That's crazy
U S S Clueless (11:58:29 AM): You probably said something else to him. I know you.
bigblackfist (11:59:17 AM): Erythang on my life shawty! I didn't.
U S S Clueless (11:59:24 AM): Mmmm Hmmm
U S S Clueless (12:00:08 PM): I saw this homeless lady with a dog once. How you gone be homeless with a dog?
bigblackfist (12:00:49 PM): What kind of dog? LOL
U S S Clueless (12:02:56 PM): It was a big dog. It looked one one of those huge sheep dogs. It looked fat & lazy...like my Uncle Joe's dog.
bigblackfist (12:03:15 PM): Like that joker aint been missin no meals huh?
U S S Clueless (12:03:23 PM): EXACTLY!! LOL
U S S Clueless (12:04:30 PM): Like it was waiting for his next feeding.
bigblackfist (12:06:14 PM): What did the lady look like? She was fat wasn't she?
U S S Clueless (12:06:27 PM): yea........LOL!!!
bigblackfist (12:06:59 PM): You gone to hell in gasoline drawlz for laughing.
U S S Clueless (12:07:37 PM): Shut up! You laughed to.
bigblackfist (12:07:50 PM): But I'm not going to hell.
U S S Clueless (12:08:09 PM): Neither am I. I think you do need to learn some compassion.
bigblackfist (12:08:16 PM): F*** That!!
U S S Clueless (12:08:23 PM): See....
bigblackfist (12:08:38 PM): I didn't mean that. Forgive me Lord.
U S S Clueless (12:08:59 PM): Mmmm hmmm
bigblackfist (12:11:48 PM): Im off to lunch
Posted by Timi at July 22, 2004 12:54 PM