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August 31, 2004
Toughen Up
I've been a bit burdened for a large portion of my day. I recieved some bad news this morning, and my mind is still processing that info. I'm in a bit of shock I should say. A cousin that I cared alot about was shot this morning. He died about an hour ago. My family really doesn't know what happened. We just know that he was shot and whoever killed him may have taken him to the hospital, dropped him off and left. Hmmm...a killer with a conscience.
We don't know if it was the killer who dropped him off at the ER, but we do know that somebody took the time to load him in a car, drive him to the hospital and then bounce. Never ID'd himself or anything...he just left. I don't understand the mentality of folks. I really don't.
I was really surprised my cousin's death. It was really unexpected. He was one of those people in my mind that I thought would live forever. He was just dope like that. He was untouchable. He was A-Pop The Mayor. He always loyal. He looked out for those he loved. He was tough. He never backed down to anyone. He was feared. He was respected. Above all that, he was my big brother.
Aaron always had my back. When I was wrong, he corrected me. When he saw me doing wrong, he'd always say, "I'm going to tell your dad." And that wasn't a bluff. He always did tell my dad. LOL. He taught me some of the most valuable lessons as a young kid growing up. I recall once when I was 7, our mothers had some type of Mary Kay party at the Hill Top Center. My brother and I were getting on my mother's nerves, so she trusted us into the care of Aaron, his brother and some of their friends. Aaron was about 17 at the time (I think). They took me to the gym inside of the center to play basketball with them.
Somehow, my cousin Bo found the pantry inside of the center. Inside of this pantry was all kinds of fruit. Bo took a box of plums. All the guys grabbed as many plums as they could and they stuck these plums into their pants. My brother and I saw this, so we did the same. I took a plum, and I put it into my pants. When my brother & I came outside, it was pretty obvious where we had hidden the stolen plums. LOL. They all started pointing and laughing at me. My cousin Aaron walked over to my bro & I. He told us to remove the plums and give them to him. We did as instructed. I had a sad look on my face because I really wanted that plum. My brother said, "That's not fair. Why do you get to eat them and we don't?" Aaron said, "Because what we did was wrong, and I don't want you to follow what we do." He taught us a lesson on theft. He said, "You can't do everything that we do. We know that this is wrong. You guys are to be better than us." After his lesson, he took my brother & I down to the corner store and he bought us candy.
I looked up to Aaron. He was a black belt in Karate. Each time I saw him he showed me a Karate move. He taught me how to be tough. He always said, "Never let your enemy see you cry. Never expose that weakness." Whenever, I attempted to cry, he told me to wipe my tears and toughen up. He would tell me that I need to be tough, but I also need to be a lady. So when I would sit with my legs open while wearing dresses, he'd tell me to close and cross my legs.
He was a cool dude. When I'd go places with him, he'd tell people that I was his little sister. The people would respect that. Once, a guy walked over to me and took a ball that my brother & I had been playing with. I ran crying to my cousin Aaron. He found the guy. Not only did he make the guy give me the ball back, but he also made him apologize to me. I thought that he was the best cousin the world. When he went off into the army, I was really sad. But he sent my brother & I cool stuff from Germany when he was over there.
When he returned home from the army, he was the same Aaron. I was much older. I was hanging with some shady characters, and Aaron told me that I shouldn't hang with them. Man...one time I was standing on a corner waiting for a friend & Aaron just embarassed me. He said, "T get off the corner." I told him that I was waiting for my friend. He said, "I don't care who you're waiting for. I said get off of the corner." I stood there a little longer and I heard, "I SAID GET OFF OF THE DAMN CORNER. I'M NOT PLAYIN WITH YOU GIRL!" He was standing behind me, and everyone in the vicinity was staring at me. It's a good thing that I wasn't from that side of town. As I walked off, he said "And you better not cry." I was totally embarassed, but I understood his sentiment. He wasn't telling me to leave to be mean. He was telling me to leave because the corner was not a good place for a young lady to be. Bad things happen on "the corner". Intentions are mistaken on "the corner". Drama happens on "the corner". So, needless to say, I forgave him for embarassing me.
Aaron once said that if he died, he didn't want anyone to cry for him. He said that tears symbolized regret, and didn't regret anything that he's done in his life. So now, I'm sitting here filled with so much emotion and all I can think of is Aaron saying, "Toughen up!" I don't know if I can be tough. I've been tough all day. I'm wrestling between toughness and tears. And to be honest, the toughness is giving way to the tears. It's sinking in that my big brother is gone. I don't understand why, but it hurts. It hurts like hell.
Posted by Timi at 11:36 PM
Old School Radio
I've been neglecting my site a little lately. I really haven't had time to sit down and formulate the billions of thoughts that have been buzzing through my brain. I have however, made time to finish my old school radio blog. I've been promising the folks that I was going to do one for a while now. I'd never quite got around to doing it. After visiting Monkie's site, I was inspired to finally finish what I had started.
So, until I sit down to write a full blog entry, enjoy the old school radio.
[edit 10/9/04] I removed the old school radio to make room for a future project that will be consistent on this site. In the meantime, enjoy one of my other radio blogs
Posted by Timi at 5:52 PM
August 24, 2004
Spider Bites & Other Drama
You all want to know how the Prince concert was right? Mmm hmmm. Let me tell you. It was to be his last concert. THE LAST ONE EVER! I was so pumped. To see Prince live has been a dream of mine since forever. This was my night! I finally get to see Prince perform Purple Rain live. This has got to be heaven. Guess how it went?
I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DIDN'T GO! That's right...I didn't make it. I'm so disappointed. I wanted to go so bad. I bet you're wondering what caused me not to go? Well...because I'm a walking talking emergence! That's right, I had to go to the hospital again. I swear the nurses in the ER know me by name. Nevermind the fact that this was my second visit to the ER in 2 days. On Sunday, I went because a mosquito hijacked my eyeball. My right eye swelled up so bad that it was no question of whether or not I should get it checked out. I looked like I had just taked a left hook from Mike Tyson. It was really bad.
But on this day, it wasn't a mosquito that would lead to a trip to the ER. It was a chocolate loving spider. Yes a spider. While asleep at my aunt's house, a spider bit me in various parts of my body. The most severe being on my mouth. So I wake up and the left side of my face feels numb. I could barely talk. I thought that I'd suffered a stroke or something. I reached for my mouth and felt the mound on my mouth. I got out of the bed and I headed into the bathroom. When I saw my face, I screamed. I looked as if someone had performed a botched lip injection causing my lips and the left side of my face to swell. LOL. God it was terrible. And it itched like crazy.
I began to feel various portions of my body, and I learned that my face wasn't the only place that the stinkin spider bit me. The nurses at the ER had jokes about my spider bites. They were calling it "Uncle Spider" because of the places that it chose to bit me. It bit me on my left arm, my hand, my inside of my left thigh, the outside of my left thigh and on the left buttocks. So "Uncle Spider" had a good ol' time while I was sleeping. If I had suffered the bites on the lower parts of my body, then I would've been fine. But naw...the spider had to bite me in the mouth, basically rendering me useless to see Prince. I hate insects. The doc gave me some anti-biotics and some itch cream. My cousin kept telling me that the spider probably laid eggs in my lips and that freaked me out. The doctor said that the spider didn't hatch any eggs in my lips. But now I have a serious case of the heeby jeebies. I keep itching and smacking myself. LOL. This is not fun.
Cancer-Free
Tests were taken on the tumor, and it was found to be benign. That's a huge relief. I taking meds in hopes of dissolving the mast to prevent surgery. I'm being watched closely by the doc because he said there appears to be another tumor forming on another part of my spine. I'm not worried though. I know that everything will be ok. I refuse to let the formation of a little tumor stress me out. I already have enough stress.
The Tire Went BOOM
I did a car switch with my baby bro today. He took my car & I used his. What he neglected to tell me was that one of his tires had 2 nails in it. So guess who was driving when the tire when completely dead? I was driving the car and the sound of the tire dragging was horrible. My best friend was with me. She and I were scared because we were a considerable distance away from hom and didn't want to be stranded. So I pulled into Mobile Station to try to fill the tire with air. That didn't work. The whole tire needed to be replaced. There was no way that we would've made it home on that tire. So, I called my uncle, he said that there was a tire under my brother's car. I had to pay the technician at the Mobile Station $10 to put the new tire on. I was angry at my brother for deceiving me. I made him pay me back my money too!
I'm So Gone
The jackass strikes again. I was making copies at one of the copiers and I got a papercut. Jackass walks up behind me and begins to watch me at work. I walk over to the first-aid kit and I get a band-aid. As I proceed to put the band-aid on, he says, "Aww the pretty girl has a boo boo. Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" I say, "Buzz off!" He moves in closer, laughs and says, "Or what?"
Wheww! I almost forgot that I work in a corporate office. Your boy almost got a right hook and swift kick to the cajones. I was pretty angry. I complained once again. Not only did I complain, but I also had my brother AND my COUSINS (yes there is an S on the end of that) meet me at my job once I clocked out. The guy never came outside. I'm glad he didn't because it would've been a nasty situation...not to mention very immature and unprofessional. So, I had my brother round up the troops and told them to go home.
Today, I got a call from our Office Director telling me that the guy was fired and encouraging me to hold the grudge against the culprit and not the company. He was spilling some crap about how he was so sorry that I had to endure such troubles from an idiot. He also kissed up to me big time. I listened, but the bridges have burned. I'm leaving. I've already established that. I'm hunting for a new job. I can't stay. This harassment episode just sealed the deal. I plan to be out of there by the middle of next next month.
Posted by Timi at 10:27 PM
August 21, 2004
Seeking New Employment
I've neglected this site for about a week. I've had tons to write about, but I just haven't had time to write it all. My schedule has been so wacky in these last months that it's insane. I really need a new job. I can't stress that enough. I have an interview for a job in the city planning office next week. That's really exciting. It would help me out alot as well because, as I've stated in previous posts, I want to pursue my MA in Urban Planning & Housing Administration. I'll be praying that I have a great interview, and maybe...just maybe, God willing, I'll get the job too.
I've decided that I need to leave my job because it's just not a healthy situation for me. It seems like I'm working 24/7. There are some weeks that I work all 7 days. Why? Because it gets slow, people call off, someone botches a job, people get sick...yada yada yada. I can't take it anymore. It's taking a toll on me mentally, physically and spiritually.
My mood always changes when I enter the office. It's as if I pass threw a mood warp. I could be have a wonderful day, but when I get off of the elevator and walk down the hall, my mood changes. I feel a heavy burden of depression, and I hate it. I sit down at the desk, I lay my head down and ask "Why me?" It's a mess.
I had a sexual harassment incident with a co-worker the other day. Guys in the office were eating lolipops. That's normal. One guy brings candy everyday and he shares it. So, I saw the "Candy man" and I sparked up a conversation with him. This too is normal. He and I chat all of the time. I said, "TJ, can I have a lolipop?" He tells me that he has no more. I was like "Oh ok. Thanks anyway." I thought that was the end of it.
I left the office & headed to the break room. I got a bottle of water, and I headed back toward the office. On my way back, I ran into this jackass that I'm ashamed to call a co-worker. He says, "There aren't anymore lolipops left." I reply with, "I know. I've already been told." He proceeds to pull the lolipop out of his mouth and offer it to me. He said, "Here you can have mine." I said no and I rolled my eyes. He laughed. As I walked away, he said, "I might not have any more candy lolipops, but I do have another kind of lolipop for you to lick."
I immediatly stopped in my tracks. I turned to him and gave him a look that would've burned his soul if my eyes were fire. A female co-worker in the vicinity just gasped. There was dead silence. I was so shocked by his statement. I was speechless. I was feeling so many emotions at that moment. I want to curse him out (not in a good way either!), I wanted to punch the hell out of him, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream...but I couldn't do any of that.
A production manager was present when the comment was made. He was equally stunned. A tech fixing the computer said, "Do you realize that you've just lost your job over a lewd joke?" The guy was still laughing and his only response was, "What? I was just kidding. You take everything so seriously." I said, "Go to hell! Now take that seriously." I went back into the office. I sat down opened a book, and I began to cry. A manager walked over to me and asked me if I wanted to file a complaint. I told him that I did want to file a complaint.
The complaint was filed. The manager asked me if there had ever been any flirting between the "assailant" and myself. I explained that we hardly ever talk. He's a new guy. I found him to be quite repulsive, so I've always kept my distance. It's interesting that the manager asked that question because I recieved an email from a co-worker stating that I flirt with him unconsciously. However, I'm 100% certain that the manager knew nothing about that email or the flirting that the co-worker mentioned.
I dont even know if anything will become of this situation. At this moment, I really don't care. I must keep my distance. Although, I must admit that I really insecure right now about my position. I can't work like that. It's not me. I shouldn't have to put up with crap. So, I must go.
Posted by Timi at 11:13 PM
August 14, 2004
No Name Post #1
I've had an interesting last couple of days. I've gotten a chance to think about some stuff. I also got around to doing some stuff that I've been intending to do for a while.
Timi- My Ringtone (LOL)
I think I may be doing this voice recording thing more often because a sista is too cheap to pay $3 a month to transfer my blogger audio account to Movable Type.
Next Oprah: Politicians on the DL
I'm still shocked about this Gov. McGreevy drama. My mouth was to the floor as I watched him admit his fallacy on national tv. A few years ago when he was running against former NJ Gov. Christine Whitman, I volunteered for his campaign. I thought that he was a pretty cool guy. I guess we all have something that we'd like to keep secret. I know I do, so I can understand McGreevy's unwillingness to "come out" to the world. However, I must admit that I really don't feel sorry for this guy. I know it was hard for him to resign, but I really feel for his wife and his children. How selfish can you be Jim? Granted we all are a bit selfish at time, myself included, but dang. That's just over the top. I'd be extremely hurt and embarassed if my husband did that crap to me.
It's not about him being gay. If you're gonna be gay, at least be honest with yourself. It's about unfaithfulness. Regardless of who he slept with, the fact remains that he's forsaken his wedding vows. I wonder if his wife new his secrets prior to marrying him? It makes me wonder if she would've walked down the isle with him if she knew that he had a thing for men. It would be wise to share those secrets with your spouse prior to saying "I Do." That kind of baggage should not be carried into a marriage. I must applaud Mrs. McGreevey. She was calm and composed. I'm sure she wasn't like that when she found out. I would not have been that composed. I might have sucker punched in front of everyone.
I don't think he was very honest about his resignation either. Upon his admission, I believed that there was more to the story. Why would quit because your gay? Granted, not everyone is receptive to the homosexual lifestyle, but that's not an excuse to leave. However, Blackmail, fraud & scandal are all excuses to bust out. So in essence, he did the appropriate thing...he just didn't tell the entire story.
I bet good ol' boy Rick Santorum loved every moment of McGreevey's confession. I bet he watched it over and over again like a gagillion times with evil laughter. We all know how much Ricky hates homos
Posted by Timi at 10:37 PM
August 11, 2004
Another Doctor Visit
Yesterday, I learned that I have a small tumor on my spine. I'd been having really bad back pain, so I went to have it checked out again. I told my doctor that it felt as if something was sending electric shocks down my spine. I was given an x-ray and that's how it was discovered. Tests will be done to determine if the tumor in malignant. When I first heard the news, it upset me. It upset me because my mind began to wonder. Cancer certainly is no stranger to my family, and this is the second time that I've had a tumor in the exact same place on my spine. The first time around, the tumor was benign. The second discovery is always the most most frightening.
The second time tumors were discovered in my mother proved to be cancerous. She has uterin cancer and had to have a hystorectomy. We experienced her trials with chemotherapy. I believe that I was about 11. I remember praying to God and hoping that my mother wouldn't die. She didn't die, but that had to be the most difficult moments in my life. I will never forget that.
Chemotherapy can be pretty brutal on patients. This fact is why I have decided that if my tumor is malignant, then I choose to forego chemo alltogether...if in fact it's necessary at all. I still have yet to be discuss this with my doctor. I have told my family my wishes. They don't agree with my choice, but I'm an adult. I'm doing what I believe to be in my best interest. My family is all upset. They are talking to me and about me...as if I'm dead already. My oldest brother tells me that I'm being irrational. I'm like, "FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! I DON'T HAVE CANCER!!" His response to that was, "BUT WHAT IF YOU DO?"
I don't like questions like that. My brother also asked, "Why would you not go through chemo knowing that it could mean the difference between life and death?" I'm not ready to die, but I'm not afraid of my current situation. Everything happens for a reason, so if God deems it my time, then I must go. That isn't easy to fathom, but it's something that I must come to terms with. Not everyone understands that. It took me a while to grasp it myself. This is how I'm able to smile when I visit my mom mom in the hospital. Someone helped me to understand that death is something that have to face someday and that we just have to get over it and keep moving.
In Other News....
MT-Medic is a God-send. It helped me to regroup my site earlier. You see...I, being the brainiac genius that I am, accidently deleted my entire blog & username to MT while attempting to change permissions for a private blog that I've been working on for the past few days. While trying to chance authors on the new private blog, I deleted the username "Timi" and that was only the beginning of my drama. While trying to recover everything, I managed to delete the public blog. Carla is the best. When I asked her for help, she lead me to MT-Medic. I installed MT-Medic on my site and everything was recovered. Now, I just have to do some minor tweeking to get everything back to normal.
I do have a private blog that has been in the making for some time now. I created a layout for the site and then I decided that I didn't like it, so I'm using a linkware template temporarily. The new site is password protected, so in order to view, you must inquire to me for the username and password. I will share this info with you, if I know you. No...I'm not giving up on this site...I just want something a but more personal.
The new site can be found at http://ussclueless.net/bottledup. Email me if you want the username and password.
Posted by Timi at 1:02 AM
August 9, 2004
That's All I'm Saying
I enjoyed my weekend. I hung out with my girlfriends. We went to this spa in Philadelphia. I got a wonderful facial and the massage of a lifetime. The body wrap was quite euphoric. One of us is getting married, so we just spent our last weekend together as single women. Well...this actually isn't the last weekend, but every weekend from now until the wedding date is full and none of us really have the time to hook up again like we'd want to. Of course that's minus the Bridal Shower.
There will be a bachelorette party, but I will not be participating in that. The bride's cousin is throwing the shindig complete with a stripper (This man is disturbingly attractive to me) and a "novelty" party. You guys aren't dumb. I don't need to explain to you what a "novelty" party is. Think of a Mary Kay party...minus the cosmetics. That's all I'm gonna say! Needless to say, I don't believe that I would benefit from attending such a social gathering.
God knows that I don't need some fine (and he is fine) half-naked man shaking his business all up in my face. Nor do I need to be considering sales pitches for novelty items. I'm not feeling the whole idea, and I've explained this to my friend's cousin. She thinks that I'm being overly religious, but I don't look at it that way. I see it as a way of avoiding temptation and to be quite honest...my mind wonders & at times, I can be easily tempted. I'm trying to get my mind right. I'm trying to stay focused on purity because I had been slipping.
Philippians 4So, for me, not attending has nothing to do with being religious. I use that scripture as a basis to say that my decision has everything to do with keeping my sanity.
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
On another note...
I recieved a response from someone who didn't appreciate my previous post. Not only did this person comment on my page, but he sent me a lengthy email attacking my position. I'm not against anyone disagreeing with me, but I do have issues with people who attempt to attack my character. So to the person who felt the need to attack my opinion I will say this because I KNOW that you are reading this right now. Perhaps you've thought that because I haven't responded, then I must be ignoring you. That's not the case. I had a weekend to enjoy, I wasn't going to allow you to spoil it.
In your comment on my site, you wrote:
Why should I trust the sincerity of your "article" being that you've already shown your anti-gay bias? You have admitted several times to being homophobic. I find it hard to believe that you, similar to your friend, aren't writing this for selfish motives and further hatred of the gay community. Christians, though they claim "to love the sinner but hate the sin", have always perpetuated hatred of gays. You are just the same as all of the others.There are so many ways that I can address this, but I'll try to keep it short and to the point. YFirst let me begin by saying that I could care less if you "feel me" or not. I believe that you misinterpreted what I wrote. I didn't write what I wrote out of hate. I wrote because I was explaining a situation in which I've been asked to write an article and I'm torn with indecision. Never once did I bash anyone in that post. In fact, I wrote...
I don't want to be percieved as someone who is bashing or singling out gays. Instead, I want to be seen as someone who is shedding light on an issue that not only involves homosexuals, but the neglect of an entire community.I wrote this because I knew that someone would misinterpret my intentions, as you have. Also, I will give you one up on me. I have admitted that homophobia has been an issue that I've been dealing with since becoming a Christian. I've only admitted that once, but I admitted it nonethelss. Apparently, you are someone who has been reading my blog (the old one and the new) for awhile in order to know that I've stated that. In the post that I believe you are referring to, I did admit that homophobia has been an issue for me, but I also stated that that is something that God is dealing with me on. I welcome you to go back and read that post because obviously, you missed that part.
The link to that page is here----> Old Blogspot post.
That email you sent me was totally out of line. I'm not going to respond to your personal attacks with an online attack. That's childish and it's juvenile. I'm above that. I responded to your email in a professional manner, but you proved your immaturity when you blocked me from responding to you. Why would you attack someone via email and not allow them to respond to your accusations? You proved to me that you had no intentions of having any kind of intelligent conversation with me. I was willing to allow you to voice your opinion to me without confrontation. I have no problem with anyone who may disagree with what I wrote. However, I do believe that most people who disagreed would've allowed me to defend myself. Someone has disagreed with me, and she I talked it out in an adult manner. She understood my position, and I respect hers.
There is nothing that I stated in the previous post that I believe to be non-factual. Anyone who disagrees with that probably has never attended a black church. The truth is that the issue of AIDS HAS been ignored by the church as well the issue of homosexuality within the church. I'm not backing down from my position, but I do welcome intelligent discourse about the subject. I think that you blocked me from responding to you because you're not interested in the truth. Why would you be? Truth isn't popular these days. Not only are you afraid to allow me to respond to you, but you know that if you aren't coming with something serious, then I will intellectually pierce your soul.
So, with that. I invite you, again, to discuss the issue with me one on one. If you aren't willing to do that, then I'd appreciate it if you zip it and keep your opinions to yourself. That's all I have to say about that.
Posted by Timi at 2:43 AM
August 3, 2004
He Proposed to Me
...It's not what you think. The other day, I was contacted by a friend who is starting a new "In Your Face" Christian magazine. He informed me that he wanted me to be a writer for the new project. I told him to send me a proposal via email and I'd consider his request. He sent, I read it & now I'm battling myself on whether or not I should accept the proposal.
He wants me to write an article for this new magazine. When he first sent the proposal to me, he explained that he wanted the article to touch on the subject of AIDS & The State of the Black Church. That topic looks pretty cut & dry, but nothing is that simple when it comes to my friend. You see, when I looked at the topic, I immediately knew that he wanted me to delve beyond that which I was reading on my screen.
He doesn't just want me to address the issue of AIDS & The Black Church. He wants me to dig into the meat of the issue, which is Homosexuality. A very controversial issue. Now I'm no stranger controversy, nor am I a stranger to this subject. A few years ago, I wrote an article about James Cleveland that was not recieved quite well by everyone. It's no secret that James Cleveland, a highly regarded gospel artist, was gay. Neither is it a secret that he succumed to AIDS. So, I was merely writing about the hypocrisy of Mr. Cleveland and some of the factors that possibly kept him "in the closet". Since that article, I've been really cautious about the topics that I choose to write about.
The idea spurs from a conversation that my friend and I had a few weeks ago. We were discussing the death of a local gospel artist. There were a number of rumors as to the cause of death to this artist. When I first inquired about the man's death, I was told that he died of a blood clot. My red flag was raised immediately because I knew of this man. I knew there were rumors surrounding this man that would've suggested that he was gay. So, I wasn't buying the whole blood clot deal. I was talking to my friend, and he told me that he heard the guy died of kidney failure. Yet another red flag was raised.
Finally, both my friend & I heard the rumors that this artist died of AIDS. These rumors outnumbered the blood clot and kidney failure stories. I didn't want to jump on the rumor mill claiming that this man died of AIDS, but the possibility of AIDS as the cause of his death greatly disturbed me.
Why?
How does this effect the church?
- If in fact AIDS is the cause of death, then people are lying about it and that's not helping the situation.
- There is an EPIDEMIC in this country, and it's not going away anytime soon. Delaware alone is 5th in the nation with cases of HIV/AIDS...with most of these cases stemming from same sex interaction.
This is quite an intriguiging topic, but I must admit that I have reservations about pursuing the subject. I know where my passion is as it pertains to this issue. I don't want just any words that are going to fill the pages of someone's magazine. I want to write to help bring effective dialogue and action about an issue that has been ignored for too long.
- The church is ignoring the issue of AIDS, much like it is ignoring the issue of homosexuality within the church.
- Now is not the time to consider homosexuality taboo in the black church (or any church of that matter) because we know that it exists within the walls of our sanctuaries & it's an issue that folks are steering away from.
- Now is not the time to steer away. The problem needs to be addressed. The issue here has transcended homosexuality. The issue now is a disease that is removing people from this world very quickly. While, the church is being silent about this issue, these men are sleeping with each, and the disease is spreading.
- There are a number of gospel artists (some well known and some not so well know) that have been gay and have died of AIDS. I don't need to start name dropping because that's not necessary. However, the lies that surrounded the artist mentioned above are just a few of the numerous tales that have followed the deaths of some of these gay artists. Which again begs the question, why does one need to lie? If he died of AIDS, then he died of AIDS. It's not beneficial to anyone to say that "Joe" died of an abscess on his big toe when everybody knows that he died of AIDS. It's a little too late for political correctness. And it's just downright decieving to make up tales for the sake of hiding the fact that homosexuality exists within your church.
- With "exposure" comes deliverance, and I believe that there is healing in deliverance. Not the healing of AIDS per se, but the lightening of burdens that are on the shoulders of many who are silently screaming for help.
I know what my motivation is. I'm not that certain about my friend's motivation. As I described above, he is seeking to publish an "in your face" type magazine. I'm unable to discern if he is doing this for the benefit of the Christian community or as a way of exposing fakes & hypocrites in the church. If it is the latter, then I'm not ready nor am I willing to open up that can of worms. I don't want to be percieved as someone who is bashing or singling out gays. Instead, I want to be seen as someone who is shedding light on an issue that not only involves homosexuals, but the neglect of an entire community.
It's interesting because previously I'd pondered the idea of writing such an article, but I had no means of publishing. Now there is someone willing to publish, but I'm weary of the idea. I'll most certainly be praying for guidance in this situation. I'm hoping that God would lead me in the direction that He chooses and not that of someone else.
Posted by Timi at 9:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack