USS Clueless: Earth to Timi

Our road trip began at about 9am. He tells me that he's going to drive. Yes he TELLS me that he's going to drive. He tells me that I drive too slow, and he's get us to Bowie quickly. I said ok. Everything was going ok, until we hit the road. He says, "I'm going to take 40 to 301." I was puzzled as to why he would want to go out of the way to get to Bowie, MD if in fact he was trying to arrive at our destination quickly. I objected and told him to take I-95 South towards Baltimore. He argued with me for 15 minutes before heading South on 95.

He demanded that I pay all of the tolls. The night before, he agreed to cover the tolls. I didn't argue, I just paid the tolls with the money that I owed him. I owed him $15, so I used every bit of that $15 to pay the tolls. He didn't like that too much, but oh well. So we're in the car riding along. He turns the radio up to an obnoxious volume. I turned the volume down & put a CD inside of the CD player. He took my CD out and put in his Twista CD. I removed the Twista CD and put my Stevie Wonder CD back into the CD Player. He attempted to change the CD once more, but I threatened to punch him in his eye if he tried.

Everything was cool for awhile until we saw signs for Baltimore. I said, "You are going to take the Fort McHenry Tunnel to Bowie instead of the Harbor Tunnel." He begins to argue with me saying that we shouldn't take either because we have to take the 695 Beltway to Towson. I tell him that if we take the Beltway, we'll be way off track. He wouldn't listen to me. I called my aunt in Bowie, and told her to explain where to go so that this little idiot would listen. She tells him, as I had been telling him, to take the Fort McHenry Tunnel. So we get inside of the tunnel and this fool starts switching lanes. I begin to argue with him about how illegal that is. He ignored me.

We heading down the 95 South split to Bowie. I tell him that we are looking for the exit 6 or 7. I couldn't remember the exit number, but I knew that the exit was for Bowie/Lodenton. As we near the exit, I tell my brother to get into the far right lane, so that he wouldn't miss the exit. This idiot stays in the left lane, and we missed the exit. I was very angry at that moment. He starts telling me to chill out because he knows where he is going. Needless to say that he didn't know where he was going. We ended up in Timonium, MD, and we had to stop at a gas station to get directions back onto the highway. We were almost an hour too far away from my grandmother's house in Bowie.

We finally make it into Bowie. I wanted to take the shortcut to my grandmother's house. I told my brother to take RACETRACK RD all the way their. He wants to take the Laurel Bowie Hwy. I tell him that by taking Racetrack Rd., we'll eliminate all of the stop lights. He listened. While on Racetrack Rd., I told my brother that just beyond a hill was Bowie State University. He says that he wants to drive to Bowie State to see a friend. I objected, and we made it to our destination.

Some of my family was standing outside when we arrived. Upon parking and getting out of the car, my brother started up with me again. This time it was over the keys to the car. He wanted to drive to Bowie State, but I wouldn't allow him. He called me a bitch. He upset me off so much that I punched him. One of my aunts yelled at me for my actions and I immediately was offended. She's not my mother, I'm not a child. Plus, she hadn't heard how he was talking to me. I told her that if she didn't know the story, then she had no place to tell me that I was wrong. My aunt is only 28, so that makes her 3 years older than me & she's very bossy. I learned this during a previous trip to Bowie. She & I instantly had personality clashes.

My uncle Chunky (No...that's not a nickname) squashed the drama between my aunt & I. My grandfather made my brother apologize for the way he treated me. I felt utterly embarassed that this was the first impression that many in my family would have of my father's children. Now that all the drama was settled, I went mingled amongst family members introducing myself. My brother found his way to the food as he always does. My grandfather pulled my brother & aside and told us that he had someone for us to meet.

My grandfather introduced us to one of our cousins. He told us that this cousin was my dad's aunt's son...making the man & my father FIRST COUSINS. Upon being introduced my me, my cousin says, "She looks just like her mother. I see why your mother kept you out of Maryland." I gave him my "Huh?" look. My grandfather gave him a "What the hell?" look. My little brother introduced himself to my cousin. My cousin looked at my brother and said, "You the football player in the family I see." Then he turned back to me and said, "Can I move to Delaware with ya'll?" with a disgusting grin on his face. The look on my face said it all. My brother responded to him by said, "That's your family dog. I don't know you, I'll knock you out." My cousin laughed claiming that he was only joking. I know he wasn't jokin.

For the duration of my time their, this man (my cousin) followed me around talking to me. He totally grossed me out. I told my uncle Chunky that the guy wouldn't leave me alone. My uncle grabbed him by his collar and told him that if he didn't leave me alone he was going to kick his butt. My cousin stayed away from me from then on. I was glad because he made me feel really uncomfortable.

While I was in Bowie, my aunt called saying that her car broke down and she was stranded in Baltimore. I offered to go get her because I wanted to get out of Bowie fast. One of my aunts, a cousin and my brother wanted to come along for the ride. My brother wanted to leave as well. As soon as I hit the highway, my brother started a fight with me.

And that's when more drama ensued...