USS Clueless: Earth to Timi

It seemed like my brother had to use the bathroom every 2 miles. It was ticking me off. He called me stupid. I called him obnoxious and inconsiderate. My aunt told us both to hush. I kept quiet. My brother continued to run his mouth. He told me that I drive like an old woman, and he were driving we'd be in Baltimore by now. I ignored him.

We picked my Aunt Camille up in Baltimore. I'd never met her before, so she & I were formally introduced. We were in the Baltimore, so I suggested that we go to the Harbor. We went to the Inner Harbor, and walked around for a little bit. I decided that I'd treat everyone to lunch. My cousin Toni kept saying that she wanted Cheesecake, so I assumed that we were going to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. My aunt Tish said that she wanted seafood, and everyone jumped on the seafood bandwagon. We couldn't figure out what seafood restaurant to hit up. I was looking at the City Lights restaurant when my brother says, "Let's go to Phillips." My aunts are like "Yea! Let's go to Phillips." I wanted to hit my brother so hard. Phillips is VERY expensive, and I wasn't trying to spend money like that.

I obliged anyhow because I did offer to treat everyone (EXCEPT MY BROTHER) to lunch. We went into the Phillips restaurant. My aunt tells the hostess that we want to sit outside. When were outide, we saw a bunch of bees, so I asked to be seated inside. As we took our seats inside, we saw this other family arrive. This family looked like the Klumps. One of the daughters was really large. She attemped to sit in one of the seats, but she couldn't fit in the seat entirely. The waitress offered to get her another chair. She refused saying that she was ok. Her mother told her to get another chair. She again refused. The girl was sitting on the side of my brother. The waitress once again asked if she'd like a new seat. She refused. My brother's ignorant behind says, "Yea give her a new chair because I aint trying to pick her big a** up if she falls."

He was very loud. I was so embarassed. I turned the girl's father, who gave my brother a death stare, and said, "I am so sorry for his rudeness. He has tourette's syndrome. Please forgive him." My aunt kicked my brother in his knee. The girl looked so embarassed. I thought she was going to cry. I couldn't believe the ignorance that my brother displayed.

I began to look over the menu. There was nothing (excluding the appetizers & drinks) on that menu that was under $18. As I read the menu, I became more & more angry with my brother. My aunt, my cousin & my brother ordered what they wanted. I ordered my food as well. My aunts utterly embarassed. All I have to say is YOU CAN TAKE A NEGRO OUT OF THE COUNTRY, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE COUNTRY OUT OF THE NEGRO. There were pigeons walking around the outside of the restaurant. Some of pigeons were walking near our table because we were close the outside. My aunt was like, "UH UH!! YA'LL NEED TO GET THESE BIRDS." She was so loud. She & my cousin were having a conversation with each other that everyone in the restaurant probably heard. I was embarassed, and they knew it. My aunt Cam said, "I know Im embarassing you girl, but I'm country. This how we do." I wanted to get up and walk out of the restaurant.

When the food arrived, it was even worse. My aunt Cam & my cousin Toni ordered this Crab Pot for two. It had a bunch of crabs, shrimp, potatoes & crab cakes. They made such a mess eating. I kept begging my aunt to use the utensils that were given for the crabs. She said, "Girl we eat crabs with our hands. Keep hanging with us and you'll be country just like us." My brother looked at me with embarassment in his eyes as if to say, "Let's leave her." Someone called me on my cellphone from a blocked number. I usually ignored blocked numbers, but I answered this call. Unfortunately, I lost my signal, so I have no idea who called me. I would've talked to the person in order to get away from my aunts at that moment.

My food was great. I had some kind of Norfolk Skillet. It has shrimp, scallops & crab imperial. It was good. I finished before everyone else because I didn't have a big meal. When I finished, I watched in disgust as they devoured the crabs and made a complete mess. Finally, they finished & I asked our waitress for the check. When I saw the check, I wanted to cry. My brother asked to see it, but I told him that unless he intended to pay for it all he didn't need to see it. The bill, including the tip, came to about $150. I paid the bill with my MasterCard, so that I wouldn't have to dip into my bank account.

After going to the top of the World Trade Center of Baltimore, we decided to head back to Bowie. My brother was kind enough to pay the $15 for parking. As I was driving down Pratt St. headed back onto 95, I got into it with a Red Sox fan. He was upset that I let another car in front of me & when he tried to go around me, I sped up so he couldn't pass. If he had tried to pass, not only would he had hit me, but he would've hit some other cars. When we reached a stop light, he pulled alongside of me & began to yell. So I told him that he was wrong, and his impatience would've gotten alot of people hurt. He told me to go to hell. I told him that Jesus saves.

We made it back to Bowie. The only reason my brother didn't give me a hassle during the ride back was because he was sleepy & full. We dropped my aunt & my cousin off at my grandmother's home. My brother, KD, was there waiting. We decided to head back to Delaware. I forced my little brother to ride in the car with KD because I refused to allow him to get on my nerves. I rode back to Delaware alone in peace.

I like driving alone. I like driving in peace. KD is a lifesaver. I have to make the trek to Bowie again on Wednesday for my grandmother's funeral. Next time, I'm riding solo.