« Idle Conversations | Main | Returning Shortly »
November 12, 2004
Nobody Said It Was Easy
Romans 7
21It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.
This is how I sum up my sometimes wishy washy relationship with God. It's not easy. Sometimes I feel like the Apostle Paul when he writes, "Oh wretched man that I am. Who will save me from this body of death?". Why is it that we as humans always find a way to screw up big time. It's like life isn't normal unless you do something really stupid. Then that somehow brings our existence full circle. We aren't spotless. We aren't perfect, but somehow grace & mercy continue to uphold us.
I struggle with alot of things in my life. I struggle with self-doubt, lust, the consequences of poor decisions and various other things. Sometimes I'll sit up and ask aloud, "What is wrong with me?" I never answer myself because I don't know the answer. I don't know the answer, but I do know who knows the answer.
I try to fix my own problems, which only makes the situation worse most of the time. I can't do it by myself. I realize that, but it's also a hard realization to come to. I know that God has the answers to everything. Sometimes God doesn't answer my questions in the manner that I need them to be answered. He does it on His time. It's pretty selfish of me to expect His time to be my time...which is how I think alot of the time.
I'm listening to Coldplay's "The Scientist" and I'm feeling a bit cathartic right now. I want to go back to the start. God is the scientist and I need to talk. He know's the solution to life's equations. He can solve my life's quagmire. I wish that I could just sit down with God (face to face) and ask Him everything that I can think of. Who? What? When? How? Me & G-O (I heard my little cousin use this expression for God & I thought it was funny) need a good heart to heart.
The Scientist
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
Posted by Timi at November 12, 2004 12:43 AM