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December 3, 2004
Is She Pregnant?
This morning, I took my little cousin to a Dr. appointment. My aunt was unable to take her, so I offered to do it. My cousin was to have an appointment at an Adolescent Clinic with her doctor. She was to be checked because of problems with her ear. She was complaining of buzzing in her ears and dizziness. I assumed that it was a case of Vertigo, but I'm not a doctor, so my opinion isn't to be taken as such. My aunt neglected to tell me where the Dr's office was. All she told me was that the doctor's office was on the 4th floor. The logical thing for me was to take her to Wilmington Hospital because I recall going to that adolescent program when I was a teenager AND it just happened to be on the 4th floor. My logic didn't stand. I went to the wrong hospital.
Upon entering the hospital, my cousin & I headed for the elevators. We took the elevator to the 4th floor. I noticed that the fourth floor was a residential floor. I walked up to a receptionist & asked her for directions to the Adolescent office & she gave me a puzzled look. She had no idea of what I was talking about. She told me that I should try pediatrics on the first floor. It was 10:10 & the appointment was to be for 10:30. We turned to head back towards the elevators. As we headed toward the elevators a white lady stopped us.
She said, "Excuse me. What were you looking for?" I told her that I was looking for the Adolescent Clinic. She took one look at my cousin and said, "Are you sure you aren't looking for the OB-GYN? I'm a social worker at the hospital." That angered me. The question not only angered me but the condescending way in which she asked the question ticked me off as well. She was talking to us as if we were slow. I said, "No. We are not looking for the OB-GYN. We're looking for the adolescent clinic." She says, "The OB-GYN may be the place that you're looking for. She's not pregnant?"
I'm sure the look on my face said it all. I said, "NO she is not pregnant. I'm looking for the adolescent clinic. There used to be an adolescent clinic here. She's having ear pain." I was not very happy with the lady. She began to explain to me that the adolescent clinic was phased out when the doctor in charge of the clinic left. I was looking at her like, "That's all you had to say in the first place." After all of that, she told me to try the pediatric office.
My cousin & I took the elevator back to the 1st floor. We walked into the pediatric center. My cousin sees all the little kids and she says, "I feel real stupid being in here with all these babies." I talked to the receptionist lady in the pediatric center. I asked her about an adolescent clinic. She said that she had no idea of what I was talking about. I told her the doctors name, and she informed me that no doctor by that name there. She advised me to check in OB-GYN because the folks over in that section may know than she does. My little cousin asks, "What's the OB-GYN?" I responded by saying, "The coochie doctor". Everyone in the center laughed. That was my way of shedding light on a situation that was really starting to anger me.
I head over to the OB-GYN. I see some nurses and I ask them about the Adolescent program. One of the nurses looks at my cousin and whispers, "Is she pregnant?" I tried to contain myself, but I yelled, "NO SHE IS NOT PREGNANT. SHE IS NOT HERE FOR A PAP SMEAR NOR IS SHE HERE FOR A PREGNANCY TEST. SHE DOESNT HAVE ANY STD EITHER!" The nurse apologized me. She informed me that there is no adolescent clinic in the OB-GYN. She instructs me to try the Adult Medicine center. I was really pissed.
It upset me because I know that my cousin's race played a factor in the questions that the nurses, receptionists & the stupid social worker were asking. They saw that she was black & automatically assumed that the Adolescent clinic I was searching for was in actuality the OB-GYN. As if all we [young black women] do is have sex and make babies. That makes me livid. If I were a white lady walking with my white child & asking for directions to an adolescent center, those questions would've never been asked!
I walked away from the nurses venting out loud. I was like, "You see a young black girl walk into your hospital & you assume that she's here for natal care. This is some racist bull!" My cousin is looking at me saying it's ok. I said, "NO IT'S NOT OK! If you were a little white girl they wouldn't assume stuff like that." We arrived at the Family Center & something told me to check the note my aunt left for me. I looked at the note & studied the number on the paper. I began to wonder if I was even at the right hospital because the number on the note was not a Wilmington number. It was a suburban phone number.
I called the number on the paper, and it was confirmed that I was at the wrong place. By this time it was 10:35, and I was frustrated. I called my aunt to tell her that I was at the wrong clinic. She too didn't know that the adolescent center was moved to a different location. I told her that the place were supposed to be at was on Foulk Road. I called the Family Medicine Center to explain what happened. The kind nurse on the other end told me that my cousin would be seen if I brought her. I drove to the center on Foulk Road, checked in with the receptionist & everything was cool.
My cousin was taken back to a room to be seen by her doctor. I was elated to see that her doctor was a sista girl and she was young. I was making conversation with the doctor while she was checking my cousin. She was really cool. She diagnosed my cousin with an ear infection. She wrote out a prescription and everything was fine. The doctor made mention of me taking my cousin to the wrong hospital, and she laughed. I told her what happened while at the hospital. She seemed to be upset by the questions that my cousin & I were asked as well.
She said, "See that kind of stuff makes me angry. I get questions like that all the time. They don't want to accept the fact that I'm a doctor. They see that I'm black & they try to second guess me. I get questions like 'are you the secretary?' or 'are you the cleaning lady?' That's messed up...like yea a janitor would wear a stethoscope around her neck!"
I told her where I was educated & that I work in a corporate office. I can certainly relate to funny looks and questions that I get from people (white people in particular). Can we catch a break? Why is it that young, COLLEGE EDUCATED black women are still looked down upon? This is upsetting. We are making moves & doing great things for ourselves, but society still sees us as maids & cleaning ladies. A white man walks into my Fortune 500 company & assumes that I'm the secretary. He approaches the white secretary & assumes that she's a business partner with the company overlooking the fact that IM the one that he needs to talk to.
Mos had it right when he wrote,
When white boy's doin it will, it's success. When I start doing it well, it's suspect.
This makes me want to scream. This is insanity. This is unjust. I THOUGHT THIS WAS A AMERICA PEOPLE!
Posted by Timi at December 3, 2004 9:15 PM
Comments
good post, first and formost dead x 393939 at "the coochie doctor"!
Anyhoo, i totally feel you about how black people are portrayed in corporate America. Thats how it is at my job, all the case workers are minorities yet they make it seem as if we are stupid or some shit. Mind you a requirement for our position is to have a college education. Furthermore we have the same degrees as they do yet they think they teaching us something when it comes to working out in the field (but its really the other way around).
People are really ignorant, its sad that the black doctor has to encounter stupid shit like that, especially after she has worked her ass off and spent the time to become a doctor.
Posted by: Ty at December 5, 2004 8:09 PM
Yeah, I can understand your anger, the story makes me mad as well. And I may just get hung out to dry for saying it, but I get a little tired of everyone dividing themselves up along racial lines. Maybe I just don't get it, I'm white, and so I know you and I have different experiences in life, but stupid, thick-headed people come in all shapes, sizes and colors. And corporate America seems to try to put everyone in boxes. Really, maybe I'm being naive, but I'm thinking...stupid people. Not stupid white people. Just my two cents worth.
Also, I get the college education reference, I remeber college, and it was alot of hard work, but why does your education and corporate status make you less deserving of discrimination? One of the most accomplished people I know dropped out of 8th grade.
Posted by: Allison at December 6, 2004 1:13 PM
Allison, i read your comments and i disagree with your points.
Yes people can be stupid in any shape, size or color as you mentioned but its seems that this issue timi is refering to is bigger then that. For one, you said your race is white. You have no idea what a black person like myself or any other minority has to go through in life. Let me explain something to you. The chances of someone being successful without a college degress is slim to none. The chances of a person with a college degree becoming successful are much greater. We live in a society where formal education opens alot of doors. Furthermore there are more jobs requiring some kinda degree than not. And you know what...those same percentages i have mentioned are even slimmer for people of color.
Corperate America does put people into boxes, but hey thats the rules of the game we have to follow. You know like roll with the punches.
As far as a college education making you less deserving of discrimination.... It shouldnt because no matter what people are still going to judge you by the color of your skin or gender at the end of the day. All Timi was saying is that people assume that your one way because of your appearance but in all actuality your not the things they have preconcieved about you. When they see you they do not see someone who is educated, someone who has goals and aspirations in life just like themselves. However they see two young black females who they assume to be poor...on welfare (taking advantage of the system) and having more kids for society to take of....
Life is not fair but thats the obstacles people of color face every day of week. We do not chose to divide ourselves by race, its simply the circumstance we are dealt with that makes it seem that way.
If more people judged by who you are as a person and not your race/ethnicity/religion/gender/ or etc, then we as an American society would not have nearly as many issues as we do.
Posted by: Ty at December 7, 2004 8:30 PM
This was a good post. Glad your cuz is ok. I can't even begin to start talking about the actual issue. Way to go, Ty, in breaking it down though. *pushing back from the comp so I don't start a blog in here*
Posted by: the kid at December 9, 2004 2:24 PM
Girl you ain't never, ever, EVER lied. Makes you wanna holla don't it??? Woo I know.
That type of shit just irks me to no end. It will always be the same. *shaking head* it's just a mess... I get treated the same way when I go to the doctor - well when I was single... I would go to the doctor for a sore throat and would be asked all these questions about my sexual practices and I'm like, okay with the advent of AIDS and all that, I understand that they need to be safe on their end... but I would always wonder, would you assume that I participated in unsafe practices if I were a white woman??? Hmmph. Frustrating.
Like that teenaged white girl who died of AIDS back a few years ago and they never tested her for it. Never. Never even thought of it. Never crossed their minds. Chick had thrush, pneumocystis carinii pneumonia, night sweats, everything you would think would clue them in, and they thought it was something NEW... never occurred to them that this white teenager could catch that particular disease. Let my black, college-educated, married, no child having ass go in there coughing. They will test me for HIV/AIDS so quick it would make your head spin.
Posted by: Xquizzyt1 at December 10, 2004 3:44 PM
hey, i love your blog! that was an excellent post. i hate the stereotypes that are placed upon black people in public. my siblings are 15 years younger than me. from the time they were very small, it has been an ongoing problem that people assume i am their parent. 1st of all, there are 3 of them. 2 are twins. 1 is 2 years younger than the twins. I was in my teens. Why must you assume that I popped out 3 kids so soon? It was so embarassing and angering. I used to try and circumvent the questions by talking about their mom all the time in public. but i shouldn't have had to do that.
anyway, i feel your pain. sometimes it sucks to be a black person just trying to get through life as you are, without being stereotyped. other people don't have to go through this s^*#.
Posted by: Sivad at December 16, 2004 12:53 PM
okay...I feel you on everything that you said. I am a young black female attorney in Alabama and I catch that kinda crap all day everyday. They automatically suspect that 1. I am what I am because I squeezed by with affirmative action, 2. that I am stupid so they explain everything to me like I am a retard of something,3. that I cant do what they do....problem is that I do it better and they hate that! If I had a dime for everytime a client walked past me like I was nobody (although I am the somebody that they need) I wouldn't have to practice. I would be a millionaire by now. I got it all throughout law school and I still get it now. No matter how high you go or what you do they still see race first and in most cases that is all that they see. Its a travesty...I want to smack the person who created the notion that things are different now and racism is a thing of the past....its alive and well and aint a damn thing changed!
Posted by: Simone at December 20, 2004 2:24 PM
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