USS Clueless: Earth to Timi

First off, let me say that I believe Robin. I always have & I always will. Why? Because she's never been proven to be a liar. Tyson has and Tyson is crazy as hell.

Now that I've said that, this post is not to condemn Robin nor Michael. In fact, I don't really have anything negative to say about either two. I just want to address some things that Robin said.

Claim #1: Robin stayed with Mike after he beat her because she believed that she was in love.

I've heard this so many times from so many women. Maybe love is truly the reason some of these women stay. I recall when I was younger and I watched my father hit my mother. My aunt used to ask her why she stayed with him, and my mother would say because she loved him. She would also say that he loved us (my brothers & I), and he needed our love to change him. My mother didn't believe that father would always be a violent monster (he changed later in life after my mother left), so I guess I understand where some of this women are coming from. I understand that some of these women believe that they can change these men. I heard Robin say, "I wanted to love his hurt & his pain away." I'm sorry Robin, we as humans aren't capable of that kind of love. That kind of love requires power that isn't given from a mortal soul.

In spite of the abuse my mother took from my father, she always told me to NEVER put up with a man like my father. Which brings me to my next point. LOVE ISN'T WORTH ALL THE PAIN. I can't imagine being with a man who constantly beats me at will. At what point do you say, "I've had enough. His ass is crazy & I need to leave to save my life." In high school, I dated a guy who hit me. That one time he hit me was the last time he put his hands on me. Love doesn't hurt.

1 Corinthians 13

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not selfseeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Claim #2: Mike beat Robin until she vomitted

This puzzles me to no end. At this point, warning flags 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10 would've all raised at once. That's not love. Hell...that's not even caring. He obviously isn't concerned for your health or well being. So, why stay?

Claim #3: Robin's father was never around. Her mother never talked about him. Because of her mother's unwillingness to talk about her father, Robin, in essence, ended up marrying her "father". A violent, unhappy man.

To me, this is deep. I grew with my father in my home, but I can relate to what Robin said. I was never close to my father. I knew he loved me, but he had a crazy way of showing it. I saw my father as the blueprint for the man that I AM NOT supposed to get involved with. He had the traits, no father in the home, cheater, insecure, very unhappy & he didn't know how to communicate with anyone.

I feared (and to some extent still fear) that I'll marry a man like my dad. I feared that I'd be like my mother and excuse his poor behavior. It is because of this fear (and a few others), that I have a hard time trusting men. I know that God will not send me a mess of a man, but that thought is always in the back of my head. Will he "flip the script"? Will he change later in life? Will he take out his pain on me? I know I wouldn't be able to deal with that. That's just too much.