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May 31, 2005
Family Biz
I enjoyed my Memorial Day. My aunt threw a this big BBQ & invited tons of people including my little cousin's JV football squad. Her place was packed. One of my uncle's showed up half tipsy. You know there always has to be one family member who cuts up. He bought a big giant cooler filled with Water Ice. He wouldn't let the kids eat it...and only select adults were allowed to go near it. He let me have some of it. When I tasted it, I knew why he wasn't allowing the kids to have any of it. It was spiked with liquor. THE BLACKS!!
Up until yesterday, I couldn proudly boast that I hadn't had an [alcoholic] beverage in almost 5 years. Well technically, I still can boast. I only ate a spoonful...or two of the water ice & I think I got a batch that the alcohol didn't saturate. I had to laugh though. Only my uncle would do something so triflin. He took the gospel music that my aunt playing out of the CD player and put in Clarence Carter. He started dancing & it was all over. It was comical. My aunt was like "See...that's why nobody invites you anywhere!"
I was kinda glad that my uncle changed the music. My aunt was playing some slow hymns and it was boring everyone. My aunt is super-religious, so she objects to anything but gospel music. I said, "At least play some fast music...geez." We took a vote and decided that we'd listen to a variety of music. My cousin put on some Earth, Wind & Fire and the party got started. My uncle asked my cousin & I to sing for everybody. I'm rather shy about singing in front of people. He knows that, but he offered me $20 and I couldn't refuse. lol. I love singing with my cousin. She has a beautiful voice. She's the soprano. Im the alto. I think my voice complements hers. WE NEED A RECORD DEAL!
They had me on the grill. My brother KD said, "Oh no...WHO LET HER ON THE GRILL!" lol. I'm a selfish griller. I grill with only myself in mind...so I have no problem burning charbroiling everything. I didn't stay on the grill for long. The smoke from the grill did a number on my allergies. I took some Benadryl & I was out for about an hour.
When I awakened, we decided that we'd crash my cousin's BBQ in New Castle. Now that was fun. What was even better...my cousin knows how to throw a party. I had a great time. I had one objection though. My cousin's husband decided to have a dance contest for the little kids. THAT WAS A BAD IDEA. The kids ranged in age from 15 and below...the youngest being 2 years old. My cousin Kia was the music DJ. Kia isn't saved. She had these kids dancing to that darn God-forsaked song by the Yin Yang gophers. You guys should've seen the dancing these little girls were doing. They would've made the video checks jealous. My little 7 year old cousin did some move on the wall in which she stuck her booty out and hit the floor. I was done after that. I ended the contest. It was ridiculous and my cousin Kia was cheering them on. As if that wasn't bad, the two year won the contest. That's a damn shame.
Overall, I enjoyed the day. I love my family. Some of them need lots of prayer, but all in all...I wouldn't trade them for the world. lol. God help us all.
Posted by Timi at 8:37 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 28, 2005
Zoology
I went to the zoo yesterday. I'm not a fan of zoos. Heck...I'm not a fan of animals period. I only went because I'm doing this "Flat Stanley" project for a friend's 1st grade class. Kids love animals, so what better place to take "Flat Stanley" than the zoo. I bribed two of my little cousins to come along with me. I paid those little jerks 5 bucks each (PLUS ADMISSION COSTS!). They didn't know this, but I was forcing them to be my photographers.
I wanted to take a picture of every animal at the zoo. Yes...it's a possible to take a picture of every animal because the Brandywine Zoo only has like 12 animals (ok...that's an exaggeration. according to the website, they have about 150). I like to refer to the zoo as a holding cell for sick animals in captivity. I guess it's cool because kids like it, but once that kid turns 12, he starts to catch on....like "Hey...this zoo doesn't have a bear or a gorilla...THIS SUCKS!!!"
Anywho...not only do I dislike animals, but I'm also allergic to them. My allergies started to cut up while at the zoo. Something got triggered during the trail between the Bobcat & the Pygmy Goats. Speaking of the Bobcat. It wouldn't show it's face when I wanted to take a picture of it. It waited until I was all out of film to resurface. I thought that was shady. When I walked past it's cage, I made a threat. I said, "You better not ever escape from this place because if you do, I'm going to capture you & sell you to some chinese restaurant. You'd make some tasty pork for someone's friend rice!" Yea...I know...I need help. Pray for me.
I tried to get a picture of the Llamas, but I was afraid to get close to them. Llamas are freaks of nature. Gosh...they have to be the most hideous looking creatures and they spit...making them all the more gross. A llama is like part horse, part dog, part sheep, part goat, part deer, part giraffe & part camel. It's really a sight for sore eyes. I had a bad experience with the Llamas when I was kid. I haven't trust one since.
We took pictures with the Capybaras. Capybaras are nothing more than giant rats. I swear they can talk. One night, while in college, my bestfriend & I were watching the Discovery Channel. The show was about Capybaras. In one segment of the show, some alligators started to creep up on them. One of the capybara said, "Run!" and they all took off. I looked at my friend and said, "Yo...did that thing just say 'Run'?" She said, "Yep" and burst out laughing." I kept trying to get the Capybaras at the zoo to talk. It wasn't happening, so I said "So Long."
One of the Condors posed for me. I'm dead serious. When I went to snap the picture, it spread it's wings & curtsied...I aint even lying. lol.
All in all my zoo adventure was ok. I won't be going back until I have children for myself & I'll be sure to take an anti-histamine to kill my allergy symptoms.
Posted by Timi at 8:04 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
May 26, 2005
Musical Mood
After being harassed by Ny & Q, I've decided to update all of my radio.blogs. I know it's been a minute (like almost a year) since I've added new music. I really haven't had the patience to sit down & figure out what new music I want to add to each of them. Q told me that I have absolutely no excuse as to why I haven't added new music. I aint got no job (well I do...I'm just not there) & I aint got ish to do. Ny called me trife. So, I decided to add new music to the Christian radio.blog. I'll add new music to the others over the weekend.
I wasn't going to do a song listing for the tunes that I placed inside of christian rb, but I changed my mind. Cut & Paste is a beautiful thing.
1. Kierra Sheard- Sweetest Thing
2. Out of Eden- Have Mercy *
3. Newsboys - Entertaining Angels
4. Kirk Franklin - Always
6. J Moss- Livin' 4 *
7. Donnie McClurkin- I Call You Faithful
8. Donnie McClurkin- Great & Mighty Is Our God
9. Shai Linne- Heart First (remix)
10. Woody Rock - The Question Is
11. Donald Lawrence - I am Healed *
12. Fred Hammond- Praise Belongs to You
13. Donald Lawrence- God's Favor
14. The McClurkin Project - If You're Looking for Love *
15. Fred Hammond- Unconditional
16. Angie Winans - The Lord's Prayer
17. Fred Hammond - Please Don't Pass Me By *
18. Kim Burrell- Love Is What You Do
19. Angie & Debbie Winans- Light Of Love *
20. The Clark Sisters- You Brought The Sunshine
21. Kirk Franklin- My Life, My Love, My All
22. Fred Hammond- Your Name Is Jesus
23. Deitrick Haddon - God is Good
* my personal favorites
This updated r.b includes a mix of gospel & contempo christian songs. None of them, with the exception of Donnie McClurkin & Out of Eden, would be considered new. I haven't bought much gospel music lately. I'm sorta falling out of favor with the genre...well not the genre per se but the new stuff that's coming out it's very appealing. That's why I've added all of my favorite old tunes. I like & that's really all that matters. I'm sure B.I.C, Fran & Gabi will appreciate it too.
Music Downloads
I've decided to give away three mp3s just because I'm a friendly chick. These songs have taken up permanent residence on the iPod.
Stephen Marley "Hey Baby" (right click & save)
This song is a fire. I love it! "Hey Baby" is one of the tracks on Marley's upcoming album entitled "Got Music?". I've already pre-ordered my copy.
Debra Cox "Nobody Cares" (song no longer available)
I purchased the "Hotel Rwanda" Soundtrack a few months ago. When I listened to the CD, I fell in love with this song. I feel sad for Rwanda as I listen. It makes me angry that the world turned it's back on the country when it was in dire need of help.
Roy Ayers- Everybody Loves The Sunshine" (song no longer available)
I grew up listening to old school music. This is one of those songs that I absolutely loved. I rolled my eyes when I heard that it had been sampled on Mary J Blige's song "My Life". This one is for the old heads. lol.
Enjoy the music
Posted by Timi at 1:46 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
May 23, 2005
Travels
Traveling is great. This weekend, I had the opportunity to travel to Pittsburgh to see my bestfriend graduate Seminary. I love driving through the Pennsylvania mountains. They are so beautiful. Just viewing the mountains and the area that surrounds them gives me no doubt that God is real. How can anyone view something so amazing & deny that the Almighty exists? It boggles my mind.
I had a lovely time in Pittsburgh...as always. We hung out & talked. I am so proud of my friend. I admire her a great deal. I got emotional at her graduation party. I tried to stop myself from crying when I got up to speak, but I couldn't. She's been like a sister & more to me. She & I tell each other EVERYTHING. I haven't withheld anything from her. I can trust her not to judge me. If we were twins, she'd be the good one. She truly represents whats good & decent in this world. I wouldn't trade her for anything.
I rode along to Pittsburgh with another one of my friends & her brother. It's interesting that she brought her brother along because we all know that her bro likes my bestfriend. At one point, I think my bestfriend liked him as well, but she'd never admit it. It was so cute because he was teasing her & playing around with her like he used to in college. He kept taking pictures of her with his phone. SB & I were teasing Shell about it. She tried not to blush, but she was blushing hard. lol. As we were heading back to DE, I grabbed his phone & saw that he made one of Shell's picture his screensaver. I just giggled to myself & put his phone away.
We made a stop in Marlboro, MD to crash attend a graduation party. I didn't want to go. I actually sat in the car convinced that I would leave. Then I realized that I had no idea of my location nor was I driving. lol. I went inside of the party. Sat there for an awkward hour & then left. After we left the party, we made a stop in Essex, MD and headed back to DE. I enjoyed the ride.
We're planning a road trip at the end of Summer. Most likely, we'll be heading to New Orleans. I'm already excited about that. My friend SB wants to travel back to VA so that we can hook up with my friend BC again. BC is so cool. That's my Detroit roadie. She & I were the only negros during a summer stint & we were close like Bethelem & Nazareth. *sings* It's TA in the place with BC and I got what it takes to rock the mic right, yeahhh...
Ok that was very random. That's just the first thing that came to mind.
Speaking of random...
Have you ever found God in a movie that was totally Godless? Lately, I've been watching movies & finding redemptive value in them. It's totally bugged. I still have to write about how God spoke to me while viewing Spike Lee's "She Hate Me". That one is a trip...definitely worthy of it's own entry. But anyway...I was watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and I was blown away. Can you imagine voluntarily agreeing to lose your memory? What if you then decide, at the last minute, that you want to save various memories just to remember old times? It sounds tacky (and really it is), but as I watched the movie I began to think. This is how we as humans are.
We want to forget various things in our lives, but at the same time we really don't want to. We just want to erase the pain & the hurt that we felt in those memories. How many times have we as women cried out, "GOD I WISH THAT I HAVE NEVER MET HIM!!!" In reality, we don't wish that we'd never met him. We just just wish that we hadn't fallen for him remarkable charm, or slept with, or said those 3 words..."I love you". Deep down he may have actually been a good guy. For two year he may have been Prince Charming, but we don't remember the two years. We remember the last 2 hours of pain he inflicted during the breakup and THAT hurts the most. That alone clouds all the good memories.
We want to forget, but it's impossible to forget. We as humans think that we can rid ourselves of bad memories with one miraculous touch of a button. I'll admit that I want to do that all the time. In life there is no "Easy" button as one commercial would suggest. I think that God forces us to deal with our issues. He wants us to trust that He IS able to heal us when we are hurting. I suspect that when we allow God to help us as we go through, it'll make forgetting alot easier.
I'm reminded of a scripture in The Book of Isaiah that reads something like (paraphase), "I am God. Remember Me...Forgot all of that old crap because I am about to bring you out. I am about to do a new thing in your life and it's going to blow your mind. I'll create rivers in your desert." Dude...that's serious. Don't remember the old, but remember whats about to come. That's the best. God is the bomb.
So in short...if you haven't seen "Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind", then you need to go see it.
On A Side Note...
I've added The Thesis to my Radio Blog on the right. I'm still formulating my review. Each time I listen to the album, my thought patterns are thrown off...so give me a little more time....ok Adam?
Posted by Timi at 9:11 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 19, 2005
This & That
This:
Surgery went well. Im just relaxing & recouping. I feel alot better. My friends have been visiting me so that's wonderful. My one friend traveled from Florida just to see me, so that made me feel super special. Today I was able to get out. I went to lunch with some friends & we drove around for a bit. I thank God that I have friends who are supportive & always there for me. It's the best.
That:
I recieved The Ambassador's CD "The Thesis" in the mail this past weekend, so I'm really excited about that. I've listened to it many times, but I still have yet to formulate an opinion on it. I guess I'll do that in a later post
This:
I recently began wearing contacts regularly. Though I'm quite fond of my glasses, these contacts are starting to grow on me. People notice them too. They don't notice my eyes because I wear an odd contact color (which I don't), but they notice me because they aren't used to seeing me without a pair of glasses on my eyes. I just may ditch the frames one day.
That:
My GYN Doc. is exiting the state, so I'm in search of another OB-GYN. She recommended a doctor to me, but that doctor isn't accepting new patients. I was forced to pull out the insurance manual & search for one. My aunt recommended one of my cousin's. My cousin Jason is a Gynecologist, but I have huge objections about going to see him. #1, He's a man. #2, He's my cousin. #3, He's my cousin. Do you see the conflict of interest here. I don't want my cousin looking at my cookies. That would be so awkward, and it would make me feel extremely uncomfortable. So, I opted for another doctor.
This:
"Desperate Housewives" has become my new guilty pleasure. I am hooked on this show. Now that Alfre Woodard has joined the cast, I'm going to be even more fascinated with the series. My cousin Andy loves the show as well. She asked me which 'Housewives' character does she most resemble. I suggested that she'd be most like Eva Longoria's character Gabrielle. She said that I'd be Susan. I expected her to say Bree Van De Kamp...definitely not Susan. So I took it upon myself to take the Desperate Housewives Quiz. I guess Andy was right after all.
Here are my results...View image
That:
Today I tried to spark a conversation with a lady that was sitting on a bench with my friends & I. I said, "When is your due date?" assuming that she was expecting. She ignored me. My friend said that she didn't hear me. So I repeated it. The lady gave me this evil look of contempt and said, "I'm not pregnant!" She got up & walked off. I felt so embarassed. Her stomach was huge. I didn't know that she wasn't pregnant. Next time, I'll be anti-social.
Posted by Timi at 9:48 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
May 14, 2005
Feed Me Seymour
I will be having surgery Monday afternoon. In order to prep for this surgery, I have to fast from midnight (this evening) until Monday evening. Yes...there's a whole day in between. Tomorrow, Sunday, I'm only allowed to drink water. If all goes well, I should be discharged from the hospital Monday evening or early Tuesday. I pray that those people feed me. My aunt K is making chocolate bread pudding tomorrow & I can't go without that for more than a day. She only makes it once every 200 Sundays.
I decided on Friday that I'd eat everything on Saturday...or at least attempt to. If I weighed 400 pounds & ate red meat, then I would've tried to tackle this ginormous creation...
How's that for a gluttonous appetite? I think I could've finished that in two weeks. That burger weighs 6 pounds. That's outrageous. See how we humans just waste food? That burger could feed a whole family & then some. So sad.
Since the burger was not an option, I opted for a health food binge. I had a veggie sub. I drove to Trader Joe's & purchased all kind of unnecessary snacks. Have you ever tried Trader Joe's Chocolate Almonds? They are so good! Trader Joe's Key Lime flavored Yogurt is delicious too. It's the only Yogurt that I'll eat. Trader Joe's is the best grocery store ever!
I ate some Curried Veggies & Rice courtesy of Genelle's Bakery on the mall. Genelle's has the best Caribbean food in the city. Until I taste better, then I'm stickin to that claim.
After eating the curry, I decided to OD on Rita's Banana Water Ice. Rita's has redeemed itself with me within the past week. I stopped patronizing the water ice joint after they discontinued the Lime flavored water ice. HOW COULD YOU DISCONTINUE THE LIME? That was your best flavor only second to the Mango. You should've gotten rid of that Orange Cream Ice crap!
I didn't finish my water ice. My brother ate it. Later that evening, I purchased a Mandarin-Chicken Salad from Wendy's. I think that ruined my binge. I wanted to finish well too. The oranges killed the salad. It was gross. I wanted to get my $4.29 back. I ended up giving the salad away to my brother. He ate it. He'll eat anything.
I tried to eat some more yogurt, but my taste buds were shot thanks to that crappy salad. Now I have to pray that I won't be tempted by food in church tomorrow morning. My pastor has a tendency to reminisce about food on the pulpit. lol.
While on the subject of food...
Kashi Go Lean cereal is quite tasty. I was a bit apprehensive to try it because it looks like little rocks. I bought a box, and I think I've found my new breakfast food.
My cousin is officially giving me cooking lessons. Everyone in my family believes that it's too late for me to learn how to cook. I say NONSENSE! I've already mastered the sweet potato pie. I have to prepare for my husband. My older brother says that I'm gonna be single forever if I can't throw down in the kitchen. I can make a mean fettucini alfredo, but my bro says that black men don't eat alfredo. He says they want collard greens & catfish. I think he's nuts, but I'll take note of his words. lol
Posted by Timi at 10:31 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
May 11, 2005
It's Ok
While driving in the car, I was listening to the Michael Baisden on WDAS. I never listen to talk radio, but the show interested me today. I was really interested in the topic of the show. The topic was “Why are men afraid to show their emotions?� It's based on the title of Baisden's novel, "Men Cry In The Dark".
They got on the subject of crying. One of the questions asked was, "What do you tell your 15 year old son who is crying because a girl has just broke his heart?" I was amazed at some of the answers that men & women were calling in to give. The consensus was that this 15 year boy should "Man Up." That bothered me a great deal. These people seemed to believe that it was weak of this young man to cry because he was hurting. Some folks were like, "He's a punk for crying. He's acting like a girl."
Acting like a girl? How do you equate crying to feminism? That's really silly.
On the website, one message board member who goes by the name Damali wrote,
Real men are not suppose to cry. The only people who think that it's o'k to cry are either women ( and what do they know about being a man? ) and some soft men who cried in the past and are now looking for some kind of validation for his lack of self-respect.
The reason we are not suppose to cry is because it's an unspoken form of honor. Honor is a code of our pride and strength. I'll admitt, viewed logically, it doesn't make much sense. However, honor (much like love) is not suppose to make any logical sense! Too many men are allowing women to call the shots on what makes a man a man. You wouldn't ask an eskimo for tanning tips, why are we listening to women on what makes a man a man? Women do not carry themselves by the same codes of honor that men do. Men do not cry!
Voltaire wrote " above all else never forget your dignity as a man"
Trust me, when you cry in front of your woman, she may say that it's alright with her. However, subconciously, she is harboring thoughts of weakness, doubt, and most importantly, leverage. Because the first heated argument that you two will have, if you even think about approaching her like " I'm the man of this house" she will emasculate you with " oh now you're the man of the house, where was all this manhood when you were crying like a little bi**ch !"
Fellas, if you absolutely, positively, must cry? I advise that you cry in the back of a running shower, at midnight, with the door locked and one hand over your mouth.
Damali is a female name, but I'm assuming that the person writing that was male. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH HIM? This brotha has issues. That has to be one of the dumbest (a most juvenile) statements that I have ever read in my 25 years of living. He is suggesting that crying breaks some kind of honor code. Somehow a man lacks self-respect if he cries. Huh? So will that man lack honor & respect when he's weeping over his dead loved ones too? I don't understand some people.
Christ shed tears on occassion, and He was more man than ANY mortal on this earth. He was God in flesh. That's serious. He cried for his friend Lazarus, and He cried in the Garden of Gethsemane. Would Christ be considered weak? Would you consider Him a punk? I don't think so. Punks run in times of trouble. A punk would save himself in danger. A PUNK WOULDN'T SACRIFICE HIMSELF TO SAVE THE LIVES OF OTHERS.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man who freely expresses his emotions. If I were the mother of that 15 year old boy, I'd tell him to let it out. Real men aren't afraid to cry. There is nothing girly nor gay about crying. He needs to get it out of his system to help him move on. It makes me angry when society tells young men that they shouldn't show emotions because it's a sign of weakness.
I think that young men should be encouraged to express themselves freely. I think it's healthy for them in the long run. They'd make much better boyfriends, husbands & citizens in general. When boys don't express how they feel they grow up to be angry men. There are way too many angry men in this world. These kind of dudes turn out to be rapist, serial killers & murderers...in other words heartless fools.
I find it to be very attractive when a man isn't ashamed to show emotion. It would show me that he isn't insensitive. I'd love for a man to cry on my shoulder. Recently my cousin Rob called me asking me to pray for him. He sounded really upset. He told me that he & his wife were having problems, and he didn't know how to handle it. Rob has always had it together. There was never any problem or issue that he couldn't solve. So his inability to fix his relationship with his wife was hurting him. He started crying. He apologized for crying. I felt bad for him because he doesn't understand that he doesnt have to be sorry for expressing how he really feels.
I can't imagine myself telling him "Man Up" unless he's crying over something really silly. For instance, I might think of him as a sissy if he cries over a little scratch. Babies cry over scratches and that's normal. It's not normal for a grown man to cry over a little ailment. You can cry about a stab wound or a gunshot, but if you cry over a scratch, then you are officially a chick. There was an instance in which I was riding in the car with this one guy & he just spontaneously burst into tears. They were real tears too. This brotha was really sobbin. It freaked me out because it was random and I had no ideal of why he was crying. I didn't think of him as a punk, but I did think that he had some serious baggage that he wasn't dealing with.
Women who frown on men who cry aren't looking for real men. They are seeking a thug. They want a man who is incapable of showing emotion. They want a man who will threaten another man for crying. And you know what? These men will probably end up beating the crap out of these women at some point in their relationships. I don't want a man who is going to beat the hell out of me when I ask him what's wrong.
One time I told a friend about something that happened to me as a kid. He cried with me. I thought that was great. That let me know that he & I were on the same page. I would've felt incredibly vulnerable (not to mention stupid) had he said something like, "What are you telling me that before?" I'm sure the ladies will agree with me when I say that there is nothing worse than an insensitive man.
So, in closing, if a man is crying because he's hurting or sad. Allow him to cry. It is a natural emotion. You should never allow anyone to dictate how you are supposed to feel. It's dangerous for your health. Cry Cry Cry...Cry me a river...I don't care dude just let em flow.
Posted by Timi at 10:18 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
May 8, 2005
Podcast
Im sitting at my desk trying to figure out how to do a Podcast. Podcast have interested me for a few months now. I subscribe to a few, but now I want to do my own. For the life of me, I can't figure this thing out.
iPod...check
Podcast Software...check
Microphone...check
Using my the Podcast software & my iPod to create a file...negative
RSS...huh?
I did manage to do something...
This is an experimental Podcast. It isn't much. It sounds kinda fuzzy, so tell me what you think anyway. My throat is sore & my sinuses are shot, so it sounds like Im talking through my nose. Don't laugh. Oh yea...ignore the "ums" too. My voice drags when I'm tired. lol.
Posted by Timi at 1:57 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
May 7, 2005
Running Cross My Mind
Remember all the moments for two, how we used to. Oooh yeah. But the reality...honestly...you where never good for me and I was never good for you. I just remember what we used to do... --Jill Scott, Cross My Mind
It is 2:43am, and I am wide awake thinking about someone. Yesterday, while leaving while walking in the park I ran into an old friend. It was a surprise seeing him. He looked good. The years have certainly been good to him. I was impressed.
We met up in the parking lot. He noticed me first. I wasn't paying much attention to anyone.
"Key?", A voice from behind me called. I turned to see who it was. He smiled. How could I forget a smile like that. All of his teeth were perfectly aligned & beautifully white. Seeing him was a surprise.
"WOW! I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays. How are you?", I said to him. We embraced with a hug. GOD HE SMELLS GOOD! He asked what I was doing in the park. I told him that I wanted to walk a few miles around the track. He said that he planned to jog around the track, but he would walk with me.
As we walked, we talked about how things have changed in both of our lives. I explained to him that my current issues have been bumming me out. He told me that he had recently separated from his wife and he was pretty bummed about that. He claimed she cheated, but I know him, so he could've been covering up his own indiscretions.
I made sure to keep a solid space between as we walked...at least a foot & a half. He asked me why I had moved so far away from him. I made up a story being allergic to his cologne. He was wearing Echo...not as enticing as Cool Water, but intriguing none the less. He inched closer to me. His arm brushed my arm and old memories flooded my head.
I was introduced to him by a cousin during my freshman year in college. He was a little older than myself. He was very assertive. He knew how to draw a young girl like myself. At the time, I had a boyfriend, but didn't matter much. This new guy would be my secret. Nobody had to know but us. He'd come to pick me up, we'd go out out, he'd drop me off & that's how it begun. I thought that he was a really nice guy. I dared not tell my parents about him because they'd tell me that he was too old for me. I was 18. He was 26. He violated my 5 year statute of limitations. I wasn't stupid either. I knew that he wouldn't continue picking me up & taking me out without something in return.
I would tell him about my relationship with my boyfriend. He would listen. He would tell me that I should dump my boyfriend & get with him. I weighed my options. Being with him really wasn't an option. He was way too experienced for me. Plus, my father would've shot him. He knew that I was a virgin. He didn't try anything with me because whenever he came close to me, I just about jumped out of my skin. He used to whisper things in my ear, and my mind would wonder. He wrote me detailed letters of how he wished our times were spent together. My mother found one of these letters once, and she said it disturbed her. I told her that it was from Kiwan, my boyfriend. I pretended as if I hadn't read it already. She didn't believe me. My mom knew when I was lying.
His letters continued. Then, he invited me to spend a weekend with him. I accepted. I told myself that I could stay with him without doing anything that I'd regret. I was on break from school. I told my mother that I would be staying with a cousin. The guy called my house looking for me. My mother became suspicious of him. She began inquiring about him. She somehow managed to get his real age. She wanted to know his intentions. She wasn't very happy with him pursuing me. She put two & two together and realized that I was going to spend the weekend with him. She wasn't having that. She told my father on me. They forbade me from seeing him, but I didn't listen. I would call him when I was back at school. I broke up with my boyfriend. He'd take me out. His whispers turned to touches. His detailed letters became descriptive voice mails. I was beginning to believe that I was in over my head.
I paged him once and a woman returned my call. It was his wife. Then I realized that I was in way over my head. I cut all ties with him.
I was snapped back into present tense when he asked me what was I thinking. I said nothing. He said, "I know that look." I rolled my eyes. He said, "I remember that look too." I said, "I bet you do." We began talking & laughing. He told me that I still look 18. I joked & told him that he looks every bit of 34. He laughed at me.
He grabbed for my left hand & stared at it. I snatched it away. I asked him what he was doing. He said, "I was checking for a wedding ring." I said, "Why?" "I wanted to be sure that you aren't married.", he replied. I said, "Why?" "Because you are flirting with me.", he said with a wink. I couldn't conceal my smile.
"I am not flirting with you.", I proclaimed. He says, "Yes you are. I don't think you're boyfriend would like that." I told him that if he wanted to know my relationship status, then he should just ask. He didn't believe that I was single. He said, "You always keep a jump off. I don't believe that." I had to laugh at that one.
A jump off? I told him that I wasn't like him. I don't have a husband nor do I keep dudes on the side. He started to clown me. He said, "Sure. say what you want, but I know that you have at least 2 cats on the side."
I was like, "How do you figure?" He said, "I know because I was your jump off. I was your guy on the side while your boyfriend was away." I shook my head. "Tony, Ali, Kwan...", He started naming guys. "Tony is the only name I recognize from that list and he is not a jump off.", I said laughing. He still had a sense of humor. All the laughter & the jokes couldn't hide the fact that I still think he's a dog. He asked me why I stopped calling him. I told him that he should ask his wife why I stopped called calling. He didn't have much to say about that.
It was getting late, so I told him that I needed to go. He asked me for my phone number. I refused to give it to him, so he gave me his. He asked me out to dinner. Again, I refused. I walked back to the car and I left. I'm not 18 anymore. He's already made a family. I haven't even started. A ready made family is not in my plans.
So now at 3am in the morning, I understand the importance of not selling one's self short. I'm glad that I shut off ties with him. I was happy that my mother found that letter, and discovered my secret rendevous with him. He was no good for me. Had I gotten deeply involved (including sex) with him, then I would've ended up broken-hearted. I could've ended up in an unhealthy relationship with a married man. He wanted to break me, but I thank God that I was smart enough to say no. Thank you Lord for wisdom.
Posted by Timi at 2:36 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
May 2, 2005
Finger Food
This is just disgusting....
Just when you think you've heard it all about finding fingers in food, a story like this shows up in the news. A man in North Carolina found a finger in his ice cream. Unlike the whole Wendy's saga, this story is actually true.
Excerpt from the news story...
Stowers, who did not immediately return calls Monday from The Associated Press, told the station: "I thought it was candy because they put candy in your ice cream ... to make it a treat. So I said, 'OK, well, I'll just put it in my mouth and get the ice cream off of it and see what it is.'"
Stowers said he spit the object out, but still couldn't identify it. So he went to his kitchen, rinsed it off with water — and "just started screaming."
That's just nasty. Reading that made my skin crawl. Gross!
My first reaction after reading that was, "If he didn't know what it was, then why did he put it in his mouth?" I don't play when it comes to stuff like that. I inspect EVERYTHING. If I didn't know what it was, I would've washed it off first. Then and only then would I have checked to see what it was.
He sucked on severed human flesh. He will be traumatized for the rest of his life.
Dang!
Posted by Timi at 9:54 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack