« Why Me? | Main | Shameless Plug »
June 22, 2005
White Doll - Black Doll
I visited a friend today & she upset me. While at my friend's house, I noticed that her daughter's doll collection only consisted of white babydolls. I noticed once before that the child only played with white dolls, but we weren't at her home. We were at another friend's house & I told myself that I'd ignore it. I saw some very disturbing things while at my friend's house & I couldn't ignore them...not today.
My friend was showing me the new paint that she placed in her daughter's room. When I entered the room, I saw white babydolls. I saw bedsheets with white barbie on them. The child had posters of white teenage celebrities on her wall too. What's wrong with that? Umm...the child is black. I kept trolling my eyes around the room in search of something that would even hint at black culture and I found nothing. That bothered me.
I watched the child play with these dolls. Not unlike any other little girl playing with dolls. The child was combing a dolls hair. Of course the doll was white. She began commenting on how pretty the doll was. She put the doll to her face & said, "Doesn't she look like me?" I said, "The doll is pretty. You don't have any black dollbabies?" My friend looked at me and said, "Girl. Just let it go. My baby thinks she's white." She turned to the child & said, "Ash, what color are you?" The child said, "I'm white." Then my friend laughed. I said, "You're not white sweetheart." Again, my friend said, "Girl...let it go."
I couldn't let that go. I was pissed off. I couldn't believe that she laughed. She basically condones the fact that her BLACK child thinks she's white. The child is a light brown complexion. To most people she wouldn't even be considered light skinned...but that's not the point. The point is that she is raising this child to be black woman & the little girl doesn't have a favorable image in her likeness. That's very unsettling.
My friend & I left her daughter in the bedroom to play. I asked my friend why she doesn't purchase black dolls for her little girl. She said, "Her grandmother bought her one, but she won't play with it because she thinks its ugly." I said, "You need to tell her that it's not ugly." She went into this thing about not forcing her child to do something that she doesn't want to do. She said, "It's only a phase. She's just 7 years old."
Just 7 years old? DAMN THAT! I said, "HOW DARE YOU TEACH THIS CHILD ANYTHING BUT THE BEST ABOUT HER HERITAGE!" There is nothing ugly, shameful nor sinful about being black. I resent anyone who says anything different. This is ridiculous. She is raising this little girl to have one hell of a color complex and it's going to be really bad for her when she gets older. We don't live in a colorblind society. This child is going to recieve a rude awakening. It is not going to be pretty.
For those of you who may be saying, "What's wrong with playing with a white babydoll?"...let me break it down for you.
Doll babies are a reflection of how our little girls see themselves. It's not healthy for a black child to have all white dolls. She's not seeing a reflection of herself. Instead, She's seeing a societal image that tells what she needs to look like in order to be considered beautiful. We want to present good images to our young black girls. I'm not saying that white doll babies are bad. I'm saying that white dolls do not present black girls with an image in their likeness. There is something seriously wrong when a black child believes that black dolls are ugly & white ones are beauty. There's a serious psychological issue that isn't being addressed with that child.
The history of people of African descent around the globe is one of pride & courage. There is absolutely no shame in that. They don't called the continent of Africa "The Motherland" for nothing. I'm proud of my history, and all black parents should teach their children to be proud of it.
When I was growing up, my mother was dead set against me having white dolls. She didn't want me to grow up with a complex. I'm a dark-skinned woman...and I was a dark-skinned child. I saw no images that looked myself on tv. I didn't see images of myself in magazine, cartoons or movies. When a black woman was shown on tv, she was always light-skinned with long european style hair. My mother knew that look didn't represent me. She didn't want me to have low self-esteem because I didn't have light skin & long flowing hair. She always bought me dark-skinned dolls. Both she & my father taught me about my black history.
If there were no black dolls in the store, then my mother didn't buy me any. I recall one time that I was in Ames. I asked my mother if she could buy me a doll. She agreed. I ran over to the toy section & picked up a white doll. When I took it to my mother, she said that she wouldn't buy it. I cried. I wanted to know why I couldn't have the doll. When we got home, my mother explained to me that the doll didn't represent me. I didn't understand that at the time.
When I came home from school the next day, my father told me to go look under my bed. When I looked under my bed, I saw the doll baby...only this doll was black. My father drove all over the city looking for a black doll for me. I didn't care about the color. I was just happy to have the doll. Racial complexities were the furthest from my mind, but as I reflect on the teachings of my parents, I understand what they were doing for me.
They were instilling images of pride into me. They let me know that it's a privilege & a blessing from God to wear the skin that I was born with. I recall crying to my mother because a little boy at school said that I was "too dark". My mother held me in her arms & told me that I am beautiful. She forbade me to ever think otherwise.
I am so thankful for my mother. I wish more black mothers would instill those kind of values into their children. I can only pray for my friend & her child. I can't change the images that she allows her daughter to see. I can only hope that a lightbulb goes off in her head really soon. Her child is heading down a dangerous path and she's ignoring it all. That's really sad.
Posted by Timi at June 22, 2005 9:44 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://ussclueless.net/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/146
Comments
well, i was not allowed to play with dolls, period.
but garbage pail kids, on the other hand, they were sticking everywhere.
i didn't read to the end of your post. i need to get home soon. but, o.m.goooollly! honey, she is SEVEN YEARS OLD!! i thought she was much younger.
wow! what do you do in a situation like that? if the child thinks she's white, that's something that she learned from somewhere and something she needs to un-learn, pref through her parents.
you know what would be cool? g. i. joes. they're real american heroes and they come in all colors.
or, clear, colorless dolls to represent that color-blind society that we're supposed to live in (you're right, i don't care who says it, there is nary a person in these here states who truly is colorblind.).
o goodness mama. i have a friend who had a really hard time growing up 'cuz she's african, and people just assumed that she was negating her roots 'cuz she didn't 'talk black.' hmmm... this poor child is gonna have some hard years ahead of her.
peace
Posted by: Jason Dye at June 23, 2005 12:23 AM
I'm in complete agreeance with you on this one. Children need to know their heritage, no matter what ethnicity or culture they come from, period. Mind you, of course I had white dolls and barbies, but I also had black ones too (and an asian one and even a lil mamacita doll, my parents were thorough lol). I learned equality whilst being proud of who I was at the same time.
I hope her mother realizes that she'll have hell to pay if she doesn't help her child learn to self-love and see her blackness as something to be proud of.
Posted by: Christine aka Revolt at June 24, 2005 10:54 PM
chris,
why's it gotta be a mamacita doll?
why can't it be a latino doll? or a peruvian doll? or a mexiana doll?
hmmmmm???
Posted by: Jason Dye at June 25, 2005 3:47 PM
i used to wonder why there weren't dolls that looked like me when i was younger. there was christie and her black ass or pale faced ones. i know love buying beigey looking native or hispanic dolls. i especially love the fact that not all of them have straight hair. the madison my scene doll is one of my current favs. she's sitting her on my desk. yes, seriously.
maybe, if you have time, you should pick up an ethnic doll for the child.
Posted by: Enigma at June 25, 2005 8:07 PM
hush, quarter-rican!
i'm not quite sure what her exact cultural background was. if my memory is correct, she probably was mexicana. but i called her 'mamacita'. oh leave me alone, i was like 8 when i got her!
Posted by: Christine aka Revolt at June 25, 2005 8:35 PM
Hello everyone! Hey T! Its been a while.
Im going to have to disagree with the whole black doll/white doll controversy.
True, black is beautiful, and every boy, girl, mand and woman should know this FACT OF LIFE! If the young girls mother did get her a African American doll, can we truly say that is a TRUE image of ALL women? It is a fact that the average woman is a size 6-18. However, dolls (both black and white) present the female as beautiful only if she is a size 0-4. That is a false sense of self.
As a brother who loves and respects my sistahs (All shapes, sizes and complextion) it hurts me to see them objectified and misrepresented on television and in film. African American characters (both male and female) have been stereotyped since the Mentral Shows of yesteryear and it continues today! Many of the shows that are "for us" are written, directed, created, produced, and marketed by White America. We settle for obscure networks (UPN, WB, TV1...) and token programming. In general, American society is so cosumed with the "Thin is Beauty" philosophy.
I suggest the creation of True to Life dolls. These dolls will come in every shape size and complextion. Or how about creating dolls which highlight powerful sisters in our history Angela Davis, Rosa Parks, Betty Shabazz, etc...
Peace and Blessings!
P.S. my bad about it being so long.
1
Posted by: B.I.C at June 29, 2005 2:57 PM
Okay...I have to say this. To some extent, I agree with what is being said here. This little girl should have more exposure to ALL cultures, not just "black" and "white". It is more healthy & educational (not to mention more fun) that way. Children who learn about different cultures & ethnic groups often enjoy trying new foods, games, etc.
Now onto the issue of the dolls. Without offending you (and I say this very respectfully), you might be blowing this out of proportion. Here in America people tend to be PC about things that really aren't as terrible as they seem. This is not to downplay or minimize your concerns. I'm simply saying that she's just a kid. A black kid who plays with nothing but "white" dolls, but they are only toys, after all. She is only 7 years old. I'm sure that in a couple of years this phase will have passed and she will be more aware of her black identity.
Yes, it is VERY important that she develops a positive attitude about being black. However, only her mother is responsible for helping her with this. I know you're worried that this could be a problem later but it is her mom's responsibility, let her worry about it. It isn't your place to tell this little girl anything, even if you were voicing your opinions and concerns. She is not being abused or harmed just because she plays with "white" toys or likes Hilary Duff. Her mom is probably indulging her with "white" dolls because it might just be a phase. Her mother clearly doesn't see any psychological or emotional injury being done, so that is why she reacted by telling you to "let it go". I have to admit, I was a bit thrown about the part where you say the little girl held the doll close, saying, "Doesn't she look like me?" Well, obviously, a white doll whether blond or brunette would share no physical traits with a little black girl but at the naive age of seven, can't we let a kid be a kid without all the racial stuff coming into it?
Children are impressionable. She will learn in time that she is not white and she will have a broader acceptance of what being black is all about. Plenty of children, both black & white, have been through phases like this and it didn't warp them for life. Kids pick up what they hear from people around them...at school, at home, on the play field, etc. While it may be unsettling to walk into a black girl's room and see white dolls, or hear a little black girl say she's white, let me reassure you that it is most likely just a phase. It won't be the start of some terrible identity crisis. I doubt she will grow up to bleach her skin like Michael Jackson, or be unbeweavable wannabe's like Tyra/Beyonce/Lil' Kim. If it bothers you that much, you could try offering a kid-friendly book that shows positive images of black beauty.
Posted by: SmileyHappyPeople at November 19, 2005 11:17 AM
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)